Physical

Our bodies can get sick from emotions.

they react to fear, love, stress, happiness and even flashbacks.

I always understood how my body and brain works and reacts.
except for this time.

I just couldn't get the reaction.
and why it was so extream.

life can take us away from someone we madly loved.
this one person we were crazy about, couldn't keep our hands off them, couldn't hang up the phone with them and couldn't picture one day of our lives without them
that one person you were sick when they are away, that one person your hands were always cold without them.

that phase of your life when everything you did, will do and doing was about them.
emotionally they control your every single feeling during the day.
mentally they were hunting every single thought you had and your brain was only functioning so you can think of them,

physically every inch of you wanted them all the time, when around them you cant stop making love, kissing them or doing anything that involves physical interaction with them just like your body is missing a part without them touching you.

then life takes you away from them for one reason or another but they are gone and you move on while watching them moving on.

those people will always cross your mind, and you will always drunk text them or drunk call them even when you are sure they are out of your system.

this is all normal.
till you see them!!

I saw him, a man I was crazy about, a man I breathed and had every part of my body and my life running around him.

the man who made me lose my mind over him.

I saw him.

and even though we both moved on and we are seeing other people but my body reacted in the weirdest way ever.

my body combined the reaction of fear, happiness, panic, sadness, stress and every single reaction I've ever experienced my whole life in one single reaction that stopped my heart.

I was shaking like I saw a ghost, my heart was beating like I've been running for a day, I was sweating as if I was deadly stressed, my head was spinning as if I've been making out for an hour and my system was shutting down as if I've been panicking for a day.

but the only actual physical reaction was ... walking away, passed by him, looked into his eyes and kept moving forward, my legs were leading me forward like he was a stranger... someone I never met in my life!

my body was shaking so I ran on the stairs to go and have a drink.

it was the first reaction.
a glass of whiskey I took as it was a shot.

I knew that there was no other way to calm down.

the moment I was done with my glass I smiled.

yeah, I mentioned that I experienced every single feeling.

I don't know if it was the buzz of alcohol or if it was what happened.

things were fine now.

but how on earth can we walk past the people we once lived for as someone we never met!

I always imagined my reaction when I see you one day.

smile at you, wave my hand, say hi, or even hug you like an old friend.

but I guess the hidden power that pushed me to walk forward, or almost passing out was way stronger than my thoughts, imagination or even whole self.

my body saved me!


Sea